So over the past few days I’ve come up with a new theory on why men walk.
My theory is that when a guy leaves quickly or treats you badly, or gives the excuse “I don’t want a relationship” or does want a relationship but isn’t willing to put in the effort, then he has been hurt in the past.
For example, my ex broke up with me suddenly a month and a half in saying he was confused. He told me he wanted that serious relationship where you get married, but told me I was talking about the future too much when I made a reference to Valentines day. Then I remembered that his first serious girlfriend cheated on him. Not only that but he walked in and found her in bed with another guy. Since then he has had a string of unsuccessful relationships that only lasted a max of 4 months.
When I spoke to one of my guy friends yesterday he said he couldn’t stand being in a relationship, I asked but he said he didn’t know why. So I used the same logic. I asked him, “When was your last relationship?”, he replied “Last year” and told me it ended because he slept with another girl. I told him I wanted him to dig deeper. Had he ever been hurt in a relationship?
He told me about his first serious relationship and first love. After losing his virginity to her he was head over heels. At the time they both lived in Tenerife. She went on holiday to the UK for a week. She didn’t come back after the 1st week but said she’d stay another. She didn’t come back again and said she’d be staying for a month. At the end of that month she didn’t come back and he demanded to know the truth.
She had moved to the UK, but didn’t want to tell him the truth as she didn’t want to lose him.
My conclusion: after a guy has been hurt he does not want to make that kind of commitment and does not want to be as open with a girl again, because he is scared he will be hurt just like the last time. Until he let’s himself open up and relax in a relationship, he will maintain this endless cycle of one night stands or short term relationships always wondering what it would be like to be in love again.