Recently I’ve become really fed up of one particular question: “So, what’s new in your love life?”.
This question really irritates me. 1. Why the hell should it matter to the person asking? I personally don’t believe your love life matters to anyone but yourself. So it grates me when people who I rarely speak to ask that question. Furthermore, I only know they are asking that question because they are after gossip. If a genuine friend asked me that question I would be comfortable in giving a truthful answer, as I know that it would just be a question of interest, rather than them being nosy.
2. I always hate the response. It’s usually sympathetic, which leaves me saying, “Why would you think I’m unhappy on my own?”. At the moment, I am thoroughly enjoying being single. I can go out with my friends when I want, I can have a lazy Saturday evening and watch a film with my mum if I want, I can spend my own money on what I want rather than on going out with a boyfriend and when I go on holiday I can actually have a fantastic time and turn my phone off without feeling guilty that I’m not speaking to anyone. Furthermore, I am often busy, therefore I am sure a boyfriend would become increasingly frustrated after saying, “Sorry I can’t meet up tonight because of…” 20 times.
I have just done my A2 level exams, so for the past 6 months I haven’t been interested in boys whatsoever. I told myself that 6 months was a very small percentage of my life, but so incredibly important that I didn’t want a boyfriend to ruin that for me. So I’m single and now because I have been single for a while I am enjoying myself. I’m starting to think, “I’m only giving up being single if the next guy is worth it”.
One of the things that annoyed me about giving up guys for my education was that some of my friends really didn’t understand. They didn’t understand that my education could be that important to me, and would again give me the sympathetic look as if I was making up excuses. So friends would try and set me up, and it wouldn’t work out because I was always so busy revising and studying to care about what’s-his-name, who I would have to break up with before my exams or uni anyway.
WHAT IS THE POINT???
However, now my a levels are over, I still can’t find the enthusiasm to look for a relationship. I enjoy asking my friends if they want to meet up, without thinking, “I should really ask my other half first”. I LIKE BEING ALONE. I am independent and enjoy having fun alone. Furthermore, I enjoy the thrill of a night out and thinking, “Something could happen tonight. I could meet a random guy. Talk to him, make out with him and NOT FEEL GUILTY. Plus he’d probably never talk to me again, and I wouldn’t feel upset”.
Another thing which is beginning to frustrate me is that my friends don’t seem to understand the concept of dating; they all dive head first into relationships. They seem to believe that if you like someone and they like you back then you start a relationship. Well… Traditionally it is best to DATE first. You know where you go out to the cinema or go out for a meal and almost road test the person to see if they are good relationship material, before telling the world that you are together. My friends tend to tell everyone on Facebook that they are together, and then go on dates with the person. Sometimes I don’t think they even go on dates. It’s so backward!
I personally prefer the idea of dating to being “in a relationship” (in my friends sense). There just seems to be more freedom. Yes, you are seeing the person, but you’re both so much more independent. You’re not inclined to talk every second of every day. You actually go out into the outside world, rather than just sitting watching TV at home together. Furthermore, if you don’t like each other after that first date, then you don’t have to bother again. Moreover, there shouldn’t be an emotional attachment at such an early stage.
I don’t like labelling, but I could create a whole different post based on that. But, I feel like people who immediately put on facebook that they are in a relationship, before they have been on a single date, are really just doing so to claim the other person. It’s like they’re pinning a massive sign to them saying, “Yes, he is mine, so hands off bitches”. I’m sure in the dating world, although you are dating, you’re not particularly tied down to that person – you are not committed.
Finally, the worst thing is that although we are only teenagers, people still seem to be in serious relationships. At least that’s how it seems. For me the minute you start making future plans together, even just going on holiday, that makes it serious. Or, when people start talking about how it’ll work when we’re all at uni. I personally believe that we’re too young to be having such serious relationships. We’re 18, we can do what we want, be who we want to be and be with who we want, leave all the serious stuff till later!
I know we’re not talking about getting married or having kids yet, but we are still discussing the serious equivalents for our age. Sure at the moment it’s only a holiday, but some years down the line that will be a house or a baby, and before you know it you’re married at 25 with two kids, and you’re wondering where the hell your life went.
This is just my opinion. I have nothing against teenage mothers, or people who just decide they want to get serious faster, I just think we should step back for a second and remember how old we are. We’re only just adults, so stop thinking relationships are serious and vital, and have fun while you can!